Weight Loss Journey: Day 1

Yesterday I saw a doctor who specializes in weight loss. I started today because I didn't get home until like 6pm last night and then I went to sleep because omg so tired. 

Anyway, my new diet plan is to increase protein and water intake, lessen soda (so hard) and snack on things that aren't chips. (That is my weakness, oh my gosh; that and brownies). I am to drink two protein shakes (breakfast & lunch), have a small healthy dinner, and then snack on things like cottage cheese, rolled lunch meat, and nuts. I had the first shake for breakfast, and it was actualy quite good. I, however, was hungry a few hours later and thus drank the second one. On my break I had some broccoli and about 2 oz of ham. Then for dinner I had a bird's eye steamer: Southwest Style. (I have one comment about this. It was much spicier than I was imagining, but if you're into that, it's good).

I'm very bad at formatting with pictures, so this will have to do. I actually feel quite full now. I am supposed to have at least 64oz of water daily, but I think I may have made it to 30? There's always tomorrow, right? I have not had a diet mountain dew in 7 days. It's hard, and very tempting to see other people drink it, but if I could give up energy drinks in September, then I can give up DMD in October. Another blow was the elimination of flavored creamers. It is peppermint mocha season...

 I did stop and take a short walk to look at autumn scenery. It is my absolute favorite. I don't even care that it was raining, I took photos anyway. Today's affirmation was: "I celebrate my wins, no matter how small they might seem." I actually have been doing this lately and it feels really good. It makes me feel like I'm actually getting somewhere. Hopefully I can indulge in some self-care this weekend, as well as improving my environment a little. I think once the space you live in is less chaotic, the less chaotic your brain will be. 

Intro: October 2022

This is going to be hard for me. But here it goes: honesty and probably some things that people didn't know about me.

One day I looked down at the scale and my heart sank. It had reached a point I never thought would happen to me. 302. I knew something had to change. I have high blood pressure, osteoarthritis in my spine, major depression, general anxiety disorder, very low self esteem and general self-hatred. 

That was about a year ago. And I've gone down a few pounds but I knew it wasn't enough. 

I have decided to do the following to help myself with my physical health:

• See a nutritionist and weight loss specific behavior specialist
• Try as much as I can to exercise, even if it's just a little bit each day
• Drink more water
• Fight my diet soda addiction
• Try to find positivity in things other than food-related activities

On the flip side of things is my mental health. Like I said, super depressed and anxious. I have decided to do daily journaling (might share some here, might not) and work on workbooks with my therapist. My next appointment (in a couple days) will be to update my treatment plan and I have decided on these three things as my goals:

1. Attachment/Abandonment issues and Codependency on professional support system
2. Absolute fear of being sexually assaulted.
3. Work on behaviors that will make me hate myself less (showering more often, self-care, journaling, etc)

I think the first one will be the hardest. I have decided that miserable is no way to live.