This is going to be hard for me. But here it goes: honesty and probably some things that people didn't know about me.
One day I looked down at the scale and my heart sank. It had reached a point I never thought would happen to me. 302. I knew something had to change. I have high blood pressure, osteoarthritis in my spine, major depression, general anxiety disorder, very low self esteem and general self-hatred.
That was about a year ago. And I've gone down a few pounds but I knew it wasn't enough.
I have decided to do the following to help myself with my physical health:
- See a nutritionist and weight loss specific behavior specialist
- Try as much as I can to exercise, even if it's just a little bit each day
- Drink more water
- Fight my diet soda addiction
- Try to find positivity in things other than food-related activities
On the flip side of things is my mental health. Like I said, super depressed and anxious. I have decided to do daily journaling (might share some here, might not) and work on workbooks with my therapist. My next appointment (in a couple days) will be to update my treatment plan and I have decided on these three things as my goals:
- Attachment/Abandonment issues and Codependency on professional support system
- Absolute fear of being sexually assaulted.
- Work on behaviors that will make me hate myself less (showering more often, self-care, journaling, etc)
I think the first one will be the hardest. I have decided that miserable is no way to live.
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